You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
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Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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