no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
