found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
