I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
