apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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