Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
