ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I love you. Go after that dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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