I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I need moral support for this bender
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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