ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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