i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize