Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
