3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
