I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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