this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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