just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Randomize
