True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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