I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
