there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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