1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
