Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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