You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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