Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
