I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
