Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
