I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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