so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize