just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
