What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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