I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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