He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
