i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
