idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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