Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
