i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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