Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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