if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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