do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
