I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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