worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have post one night stand depression
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
