I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
