I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
