i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
