was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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