Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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