he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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