I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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