Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize