i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
