I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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