Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
