I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize