The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
