I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
