beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
