so that wasnt chicken after all
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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