I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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