You really coming over, don't trick.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
